6 Months!?

Wow I just read all my previous entries.
Jeesh

Mourning's quite the bummer huh. No one wants me at thier party!

Actually quick updates: there might be a goose egg for my brother and I after all. But in the time I thought there wasn't I was able to move through more of my grief. I can't explain how, it's a complicated mess of money and all the good bad and ugly involved with. Money truly is a necessary evil.

As for me I still have what I've come to call, "pot hole moments" A friend shared a great metaphor with me " it's (grief,loss) like a pothole, you know where it is, and most of the time you remember to avoid it. But every once in a while you hit it and BAM, you're day has changed, there's a flat, a busted axil, who knows"
Yeah, now and then I hit the pot hole, but it's alright. I cry, I write, I let it join the other memories if I want to keep it.

I wish...

well, we all have that don't we? I guess the trick is to stay away from the regret. Regret's no pothole, it's a sink hole. Observe it sure, but don't set up camp in it.

So Samhain came, and went. As did Thanksgiving, with call from a very teary stepmother who I hardly know, who I think of often and wonder how I can help.New Years, Imbolc, and now we move into Ostara, birthdays and SPRING.

Auditions start up again, and I've been taking an acting class for the 1st time in 18 years and it's GREAT. New headshots that I feel more confident about. A very real possibility of going to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August;never mind the fact that I'm studing for a sort of elevation in my spiritual path.

A bunch of creative little green shoots popping up all around.


Dad would be proud.

Really.